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Dialogue Between Two Inanimate Objects
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Dialogue Between Two Inanimate Objects

- contributed by: Lucy Cortese

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MA BELL (Landline Telephone) and her daughter ANN DROID (Smart Phone)

MA BELL: Ann, where do you think you’re going so early in the morning?

ANN DROID: Tom is taking me to work with him. See ya later!

MA BELL: Wait just a rollover minute…

ANN DROID: Brrrring, my alarm’s going off, gotta run.

MA BELL: You went out with Tom last night. You’re spending entirely too much time with him.

ANN DROID: Mom, you live in the Dark Ages….spending all day tethered to the wall. Get outside and live a little.

MA BELL: When I was your age, we stayed put, in one place, and waited for beaus to come to us.

ANN DROID: It’s 2021! We mobile girls go 24-7, at work, at play, even nighttime.

MA BELL: Nighttime? Don’t tell me you’re sleeping with Tom.

ANN DROID: Tom needs me by his side, all day and all night. We’re inseparable.

MA BELL: You think you’re so Smart. He’s a grown man, I’m sure he can get along without your help.

ANN DROID: He’s like totally dependent on me. I tell him where he’s going, what’s on his calendar, I even help him with his job.

MA BELL: Back in my day, men respected us. They only touched us a few times a day, and didn’t trade us in for newer models every few months.

ANN DROID: You may be content with your archaic life, sitting on an end table with your stupid rotary dial, waiting around for someone to care. I want to be held, fondled and caressed constantly.

MA BELL: Better watch that tone, Ann. I’m gonna ring your bell!

ANN DROID: I’m not your little Princess anymore, Mom. Can you hear me now???

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