Here’s something nobody tells you about adulthood: You can genuinely love someone, think about them regularly, and still not talk to them for three years. This is insane, yet somehow completely normal.
Science says humans are social creatures who need meaningful friendships to be healthy and happy. Also, science says we’re really, really bad at maintaining those friendships once life gets complicated. Which it does. Approximately immediately.
Here’s what happens: You drift apart from someone you actually care about. Not because of a fight or betrayal—those you’d at least remember. No, you drift because of the far more embarrassing reason that you both kept meaning to reach out and neither of you did. For months. Then years.
And now it feels weird. “Is it awkward to text after this long? Will they think I want something? Should I acknowledge the gap or pretend it’s been two weeks?”
So you do nothing. Which makes the gap longer. Which makes it weirder. Congratulations, you’ve created a friendship stalemate that will continue until one of you dies or gets married and the other sees it on Facebook.
Here’s the point: Stop overthinking it.
Studies show people appreciate being checked in on way more than we think they will. They’re not sitting there judging the length of your silence – they’re probably feeling the exact same guilt and hoping YOU’ll take the first step.
A simple “I’ve been thinking about you, how are you doing?” is all it takes. That’s it. No elaborate explanation required. No apology for the gap. Just genuine interest in how they’re doing right now.
Will it feel slightly awkward for about 30 seconds? Maybe. Will you both get over it and be glad you reconnected? Absolutely.
So here’s your assignment: Think of one person right now – someone you care about but haven’t talked to in way too long. Text them. Today. Not tomorrow. Not “when you have time.” Now.
Because life is short, friendships matter, and the only thing dumber than drifting apart for no reason is staying apart because you’re too embarrassed to send a text.
Your friends are thinking about you too. They’re just waiting for you to go first.
So reach out. Be the person who breaks the silence. Your future self – and your friend – will thank you.
See you around town…
P.S. Your dog doesn’t care how long it’s been since you talked. He’s just happy to see you. Be more like your dog..
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Think Dave Barry with a camera. Photographer Glenn Shuck’s humorous and heartfelt take on First Coast life – sometimes through his camera, sometimes through his words, always with the perspective that comes from years of watching our community evolve.
