You know the old saying…”I’ve been thrown out of better places than this!” How about getting tossed out of a five star resort? By bouncers? On your honeymoon? We were celebrating our recent nuptials at

MA BELL (Landline Telephone) and her daughter ANN DROID (Smart Phone) MA BELL: Ann, where do you think you’re going so early in the morning? ANN DROID: Tom is taking me to work with him.

The Sands of my Childhood had a way of coloring my entire life. My earliest memories are of running through the sands of the orange groves that surrounded my grandparent’s house. How many hours did

25 NEW YEAR WISHES Author Lucille Cortese more flowers, less weeds more sunshine, less rain more listening, less talking more dancing, less watching more laughter, less tears more love, less hate more peace, less war

I’ve told you the story before, haven’t I? If I remember correctly, I don’t think l told y’all the whole story. Every one remembers the old Pat Boone song, “Running Bear and Little White Dove?”

From the earliest age, I fought to remain in an upright position. I blame this handicap on unfortunate parenting. Mama never allowed me to crawl. As soon as I boosted my infant body to all

TRIAL AND ERROR Lucy Cortese “Members of the jury, have you reached a verdict?” Judicial words prompt my heart to race, my stomach to lurch, my bladder to activate. I grew up watching Perry Mason

MEMORIES AT THE BEACH You can have your snow! Nope, don’t want it! You can have your impassable streets, snowplows, heavy coats and boots and your hibernating freezing weather. I’ll take the palm trees, the

Lucy Giardino Cortese MEMORABLE FIRST KISS Who doesn’t remember their first kiss? A peck from a junior high beau? A passionate smooch from a high school sweetheart? Did you practice puckering up before a bedroom

My hairI want it long, straight, curly, fuzzySnaggy, shaggy, ratty, mattyOily, greasy, fleecyShining, gleaming, streamingFlaxen, waxenKnotted, polka-dottedTwisted, beaded, braidedPowdered, flowered, and confettiedBangled, tangled, spangled, and spaghettied! (HAIR! The American Love-Rock Musical) Those lyrics from 1967

Lucy Giardino Cortese TICKET TROUBLES The dreaded blue light flashes in the rearview mirror. Sweaty palms choke the steering wheel. Heart skips a beat. Breath comes in gasps. Tummy growls like onset of Montezuma’s revenge.

Are you the sister that sings or the other one? This question reverberates throughout memories of my childhood. Living with a sibling who rivals Sarah Brightman in reaching high Cs, my voice remains a consistent